After having the notorious 'Where do babies come from?' talk, my cousin says to my uncle, “Do you have to go the the hospital to do that?” Personally, as a young boy after listening to what parents do 'when they really love each other' I said to myself, “If I have to do that I'm never getting married.”
“I lean over at night and touch my wife who is sleeping. I am in awe and feel privileged to be in the same bed with her.” Bear my friend is talking about his wife of some 10 years. He continues on and on about his beautiful wife, and I ask “Alright Bear, what is going on? I have never heard you talk about your wife like this.”
“Oh” said apologetically with a smile. “I haven't told you for some months now I have been meeting with some other guys and we have been gut honest about our struggles. With their help I have come a long way in cleaning up my life... sexually that is, and in the process I can't believe how beautiful 'my bride' has become...really has been all along. My own polluted heart had blinded me.
Something went off for me and there was an energizing desire to clean up my thoughts and entertainment. Not just with the hope of giving up bachelorhood, but there was a stirring inside to see the way Bear was seeing. His seeing of everything in life including his bride was taking me to places I had been and wanted to return.
Some years ago I began a rigorous fight to stay as pure as possible. This in itself was a working gift from God. What I found in the next few months and year was seeing God and experiencing miracles in the church where I was working. There were others who were also caught up in this pursuit of holiness. “The pure in heart will see God” and we did. Even going to movies was different. Watching romantic scenes that would normally lead to escape of lust, now made me long to be married. I began to live with an ache of singleness that I was committed to embracing the pain with out my normal escaping of ism of work.
Bear found the beauty of holiness in the marriage bed. And for me, holiness brought seeing God and the hosts of benefits that came with that. For both of us, pure gifts of grace from the Father.